I've gone through it too.
"I'm my own woman. No one can tell me what to do or who to vote for. It's my right!"
The mixed emotions of the reality that the decisions we make as a stepmom have a trickle down effect to many other people and our futures can be hard to face.
Whether it’s a coping mechanism or a form of denial, as stepmoms or a stepmom to be, we like to think that our actions are independent of our "blended" family.
We tell ourselves, “just because I married someone and HE has kids, doesn’t affect my individuality, choices, or lifestyle.”
Or, “I didn’t marry someone so they could tell me who I need to vote for or what I should believe in as a citizen.”
I get it. I’m serious; I get it.
I’ve raised my daughters to think independently of anyone else, not to rely on anyone else for their decisions, and to hold their head high if someone attempts to disagree with them.
Honestly, I may have gone a little overboard with that whole independence thing.
It's okay to take others into consideration when making a judgement call AND it's okay to CHANGE your original opinion altogether.
Now, I’m not burning any of my bras or voting for anyone strictly according to the genitals in which God blessed them. because I’ve worked with a lot of unethical and idiotic women in the past.
I've seriously worked with a lot of unethical and idiotic women in the past and I can't begin to imagine voting for them as president simply because they are female. But, that is another post altogether.
And, I have experienced gender inequality in a profession that, according to Hallmark cards, portrays nurses as loving, self-sacrificing, and courageous souls who will gladly succumb to anything to take care of others.
But as a female nurse and volunteer in many community organizations, I have had times where I have been worn out by the callousness of male counterparts, “older generation” mentality, and other women who glorify all men's egos to claw their way to the top.
So here is my suggestion.
Base your decisions on the facts that matter most and don't get preoccupied on the opinions that matter most to others.
As a mother and particularly as a stepmom, it’s time to put a little bit of your pride aside and think about your future and the future of YOUR family regardless of how you would have voted if life was different. How you would have voted if you were single. Or how you feel you
Or, how you would have voted if you were single. Or how you feel you should vote based on someone else's opinion.
I had to realise that my life is no longer just about me.
And, my life is no longer just about me and my children.
I have made the decision to marry a man with children and I have a responsibility to respect the uniqueness of a blended family situation.
I’m not saying that your husband, partner, or future spouse has the authority to provide you with a cheat sheet to take to the polls so you vote for the candidate that he feels is the best.
What I’m saying is that this decision does, in fact, affect you and if you don’t recognize that you are going to be disappointed in the future.
The presidential election also isn’t the time to rant about the fact that your stepchildren don’t respect you.
It’s not the time for you to flex your independent female muscles to prove to everyone else that you aren’t changing who you are for anyone else.
And, it’s definitely not the time to get back at HIS ex by voting for the exact opposite of the person that they have been supporting all over Facebook for the past six months.
What should you consider as a stepmom?
Financially, you will be directly or indirectly affected by the laws and policies put into place as a stepmom.
Even if you don’t share bank accounts and split the bills, if your spouse is financially stressed trying to pay child support, school loans, or taxes than that stress will affect your marriage.
Does your husband own a small business?
The ramifications on small business owners the past eight years have been huge while adding stress on my husband and the whole family. Through all of the financial stress, you also have to remember that you and your husband still have to write that child support check.
Healthcare policies and insurance changes have enabled young adults to remain the responsibility of their parents until well into their 20’s.
So, if you are expecting your step kids to move on with their lives at the age of 18 while you and your husband enjoy your new life after raising kids, you may want to think again. You might even need to make sure you have some extra golf clubs around because HIS kids may be following you around on the golf course while you fit the bill.
And one more example of a topic that you need to consider when determining your vote is regarding student loans and educational opportunities affected by governmental decisions.
We all know how much a college education costs.
What’s even more difficult is not knowing what the future brings in relative to education, financial aid, and student loan processes. If you’re a stepmom, you need to be aware of these topics and how the presidential candidates stand on such issues.
These are only a few of the matters that you need to think about before you visit the polls on election day.
We can ignore these issues, but at some point, we will feel the affects of these arguments depending on the presidential candidate America elects.
As a stepmom, what do you think?
Let me know if you agree that it’s important to consider all aspects of a candidate through the lens of your blended family or if you feel like those concerns shouldn’t have an impact on who you vote for?