Regardless of what your daily responsibilities are if you are a stepmother, you are a leader. Click to Tweet
I heard a life changing talk about leadership by Craig Groeschel.
I have been listening to his podcast for over a year, and I always get something from it, but this time it was different.
I became somewhat perturbed as I was listening to his masculine voice blaring from my car speakers.
Not because of him personally, but because as I listened to him deliver the content, I thought to myself:
"This is great information for stepmoms. Ugh....but Pastor Groeschel is a guy! Geez, he would make a great stepmom."
Generally, I like to get my stepmom advice from other stepmoms. But I couldn't deny the fact that the message he was delivering was perfect for me to pass along to other stepmoms.
If you are still sitting there in the perturbed state, I need to take you aside and quietly, but sternly, remind you that as a stepmother, you are a leader in so many ways so let's hear him out.
I worked so hard as a nurse to be a “leader” in my organization. Most of the time, it was to the detriment of my leadership position as a wife, mom, and stepmom in my own home.
I had to realize that with the decision to marry the love of my life, was the responsibility of being a strong woman in my stepchildren's lives.
In other words, a leader.
It would have been easy for me to excuse myself from any responsibility of influence in my stepchildren's lives and leave that whole burden to their mom and my husband.
But, I don't believe God calls you to a certain path of life and says, "Just take it easy on this path. It's not that important. Enjoy being a spectator for awhile."
Stepmom is a noun, but stepmoming is definitely a verb.
And, if you are attempting to stepmom with influence, it can be much like riding a bike uphill, with a backpack full of rocks, on a hot summer day, knowing that there is an ice cream truck at the top.
Who wouldn't want to finish...for ice cream?
The hard part of being a stepmom is that you have no idea what's at the top of the hill.
At various times, I have found myself wondering if it would be easier to go back down the hill and take another path.
But it’s the little glimmers of success that have helped me to realize that the decision to keep going has been totally worth it.
I haven't always made the best decisions as a stepmom, but I have never stopped stepmomming my heart out.
Recently, we flew my stepdaughter across the United States to the University of Washington. She asked ME to help her figure out her classes and a four-year plan of attack.
Of course, I was overwhelmed that she wanted my help.
I have finally started to reach the top of the hill and it is better than a hot fudge sundae with nuts and a cherry on top.
I felt a sense of pride that at some point, I had made an impression on her that gave her the confidence in me to help her plan her college career.
Okay, honestly, I was inwardly overwhelmed with excitement and I wanted to scream, but I had to keep my cool in front of my stepdaughter.
And, even though I wanted to rub it in my husband's face that she FINALLY wanted my help and not his, I knew this wasn't the best time to aggravate him. He was about to lose his baby girl to the craziness of independence at a college that was nicer than any vacation retreat we had ever attended.
Looking back, I had always asked her about her plans, possible college choices, career interests, and life passions. And with those questions to her, I managed to talk a lot about my experiences at her age with the same questions and the positive and negative outcomes of my choices.
Fellow stepmoms, this job has a lot of responsibility and we can't take it lightly.
If you are fully aware that you are in a position of leadership, but disregard the influence that you could have in that leadership position, then you are a thief of potential. Click to Tweet
As stepmoms, we constantly need to be aware of the influence we have on our families and specifically, our children.
Are we challenging their minds?
Are we supporting their passions?
Are we exemplifying how to be accepting and respectful of others?
Are we teaching them how to be a team player within a marriage regardless of the challenges?
Just as it shouldn’t be acceptable to be complacent to the negative effects that an inadequate leader in the workplace can have on others for a lifetime, it shouldn’t be acceptable for stepmothers to be complacent to the negative effects that they can have on their stepchildren for the rest of their lives. Click to Tweet
When stepchildren grow up not understanding their own potential, when they don’t understand their own worth in this life, or when they don’t know what it’s like to be part of a family who supports and encourages one another, that particular stepmother has to own part of the responsibility for that. Click to Tweet
Here are the notes I jotted down during this podcast. I thought I would share them with you.
The conference was geared towards leadership within an organization.
The definition of organization is a body of people with a particular purpose. Sounds a lot like a family doesn't it?
Expanding Your Leadership Capacity:
Ephesians 3:20-21: New International Version
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"
- Your brain does not understand what you are capable of – you don’t know what you’re capable of
- There is way more inside of you than you could even imagine
Capacity = what you can handle / what you can produce
If you don’t change the way you think you become the lid on the organization (family)
“anytime my organization needs to change I assume I have to change the way I think.”
- #1 Build your Confidence
Your words give you away
Change your self-talk
Take 1 step forward out of your self-talk and into the calling of God
The pathway to your greatest potential is through your greatest fear
- #2 Expand your Connections
Show me who you listen to and I will show you who you are becoming
You may be one relationship away from changing the course of your history
Don’t copy what they do, learn how they think
When you think…”That’s not true in my context,” that’s probably the area you need to listen and grow in the most
- #3 Improve your Competence
You may not know what it is, but everyone else around you knows what it is.
Delegation = building followers
Empowerment = building leaders
- #4 Strengthen your Character
Talent will get you to the top but character will keep you there
If your character is not strengthening your future is weakening
You and I need to check our lives for leaks
Eliminate future temptation today
Why would I resist a temptation tomorrow when I can eliminate it today?
That’s not weak; it’s wise
You are only as strong as you are honest
- #5 Increase your Commitment
Stop kind of trying to do something
We will not stop until our marriage honors Jesus and blesses future generations
To reach people no one else is reaching, we need to do things no one else is doing
How bad you want something determines what you will do to get it
Share this post with other stepmoms and let me know how you feel about your leadership position in your family!
Join the Mom University Facebook page to join a group of supportive stepmoms!
BTW...thanks Pastor Groeschel.